DECODING common phrases used by men can often feel like pulling teeth.
You know? Maybe you've heard the all-too -common phrase: “You are too good for me”. But what does he really mean?
Some women automatically believe the man is politely ending the relationship, usually because he might care about you but not as much as you care about him, so he is removing himself from the equation so as not to deprive you of the opportunity of finding true love.
However, relationship counsellor Wayne Powell says, while this is true, in part, the meaning of the much-used six-word phrase also depends on the stage or place at which you are in the relationship.
He shares some of the other meanings that may be ascribed to the phrase:
In matters of commitment
When I compare how committed you are to me and the relationship, with my own level of commitment, “You are too good for me.”
In matters of loyalty
When I am unfaithful in the relationship and you still stand by me, “You are too good for me.”
In matters of emotions
When I consider how much emotional pain I have caused you and you still love me, “You are too good for me.”
In matters of finance
I am from a low socio-economic background with not much to offer you financially, “You are too good for me.”
In matters of intellect
I don't have formal education compared to your graduate-level education, and can't even have a simple conversation with you, “You are too good for me.”
In matters of support
When my friends and family deserted me when I was down and out, I never reciprocated, never expressed my appreciation, you stood by me; I don't deserve you, “You are too good for me.”
All Woman also sought feedback from male readers. They each shared what using the phrase, “You are too good for me”, means:
Jovis, soldier, 27:
It means that I am intimidated by you and I don't think that I am at your standard.
Jason, 25, teacher:
It means that I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want to stay and I want to go, but I would prefer if the woman makes the move. It might also mean that I have a woman ready to take her place once she walks out.
Theon, 36, carpenter:
This is not personal, but I remember a friend of mine left his girlfriend because of some pressure from the girl's father. The father went as far as to offer him money. Apparently, because the man is not a high-society man in their culture, the man had to break up with the girl and tell her she was too good for him. To this day he regrets it.
Orando, 32, computer technician:
He knows that the lifestyle he is living does not match up to her lifestyle. He knows that he is treating her unfairly in his actions, and even while he might care for her deeply, he is not willing to let go so he wants to let her up easy without hurting her.
Dameon, 35, field operator:
It means I want a break, a new challenge — gwaan go deh wid somebody else.
Buya, 29, soldier:
When a man knows that he is not the best person for you. He, in good moral conscience, and if he really does love you, will want you to have the best life and love you deserve.
Milton, 35, writer:
It means that they are not deserving of the woman because of the quality woman she is.
Michael, 40, police officer:
For me, it would be like if I am in a relationship with a woman that is more qualified than me, that is earning more than me, and if the situation is making me feel 'small', then that is a time when I would probably say that to my woman.
Andre, 27, detective:
It means that the relationship is over. There is nothing to salvage and I wish you well because you are a good person.