Using a break-up to kick-start your best life

All Woman

BREAK-UPS are painful, undoubtedly. This is especially true if you got dumped suddenly, or your ex moves on with someone who seems to have it all together. This can make you feel like absolute trash, and wallow in self-pity.

For some people, though, a bitter break-up is just the push they need to work on themselves. They use the hurt caused by a break-up as fuel to achieve, get revenge bodies, revenge goals, and revenge success. In the end, it definitely seems as if the break-up was a blessing in disguise, and letting go was the best thing for their personal growth.

Read how these people translated pain into gain and used a break-up to kick-start their best lives:

Kim, 24, medical student:

I was with a guy for two and a half years and the relationship in my opinion was near perfect — no major arguments, genuine interest was displayed by both parties, there was support, humour, the whole works, no matey problems (or so I thought). Life was good. Then we had a minor argument that he blew way out of proportion, making me the villain, and was adamant about a break-up that my poor heart at the time couldn't take. He left Jamaica a month after, and two weeks into his vacation he told me things had changed and a month later he was married to an American, never to return. I was devastated, but I started med school. I cried nightly instead of studying until my conscience reminded me that my education was more important, and books over boys any day. It took me four long years to get over him, but now I am healed, moving into final year, and soon to be a medical professional and proud UWI graduate.

Monique, 25, accountant:

At UWI my boyfriend came back from the work and travel programme with a new girlfriend. That hurt beyond words, because I was so invested in the relationship. But long story short, I now have my degree, I started the ACCA, and I'm working full-time, while he is still in school trying to get his first degree.

Gareth, 29, technician:

I was with a girl since high school and we went to university together and basically lived together. It was like moving out from my mother and moving in with a wife. She took care of me. Then when we finished university and it was time to get an apartment together, she said she couldn't live with me because it was too much stress to work all day and come home to take care of “a man child”. So she left me. I was angry and hurt but looking back I can't say I blame her. I learned to cook and wash and tidy up after myself, and even realised that I'm a decent chef. I still miss her, but she seems happily married.

Shanna, 31, reporter:

When my 11-year relationship with the father of my child ended, I was disappointed, because he was my first and only serious boyfriend and I was looking forward to him being there with me while we achieved our career goals. I wouldn't say the break-up pushed me to greatness, because I always knew I had greatness in me. But it gave me a push. I had to prove to myself that I didn't need this dude to accomplish my goals, because the show must go on.

Tiana, 28, customer care agent:

My boyfriend that I was with for three years left me and was married within a year and some months to a slim girl. I never really had a problem with my weight, but when I saw him dating her it kind of got to me, and I started going to the gym and started eating better. I'm not much slimmer, but I feel much better about myself now that I'm fitter and have more energy for my new man who I met at the gym. I'm glad he left me, because I think I was settling out of fear that no one else would want me.

Nastassia, 21, admin assistant:

My high school boyfriend left me the January before CXC. It was the best thing that could ever happen to me. When I was with him I was so distracted from school. I was failing subjects that I was good at because I was busy thinking about him and skipping school to go to his house. In a few months I turned my grades around completely and passed all my subjects. The girl he left me for got pregnant right after fifth form, and I always say that would've been me if he didn't leave.

Mike, 26, web developer:

My babymother left me because she felt like all of the responsibility was on her to take care of me, herself, and the child. It was a wake-up call for me, to be honest. I moved out of my cousin's house and found somewhere that my daughter could come stay, and got a better job so I could give more financially. I didn't want her back at first, because she was a nag, but when the money started coming in I saw that she was really just stressed out. She took me back eventually.

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