Juggling two valentines? Here's how to come out unscathed

All Woman


PROTOCOLS exist in all aspects of life — work, school, church, parties, dinners, holidays, and Valentine's Day.

The rules governing this day, which is dedicated to showing an abundance of love, include not forgetting the day, not giving clichéd gifts, and most of all, navigating the choppy waters of juggling two of the objects of your desire.

Below, Denecia Green, relationship coach and author of Love, Lies & Temptation and Lies, Sex & Betrayal, shares with All Woman the unspoken rules of Valentine's Day.


1. Take home the appropriate gifts

Ladies, if your lover sends you sexy lingerie, either gift it to your close friend or find a way to unwrap it and make it seem that you bought it to wear for your hubby. Men, don't take home the framed picture of you and your side chick, or any gifts she may have given you that you can't say were bought by your male friend.


2. Don't order for your date

Green says that pushing your ideas about food onto another person is rude. “If you have a budget in mind for the night, then share it with your partner or suggest casually that they view the menu online ahead of time so you have an idea of the expense. But be sure to leave the decision up to your date,” she said.


3. Never send gifts/love notes to someone you hardly know

The relationship coach said while there is nothing wrong with sending these things on V-Day, it's important to keep it light-hearted. She said it is inappropriate to use this day to surprise someone by expressing your innermost feelings. “Ease into it in other ways so it doesn't seem like you are caught up in the moment of V-Day,” she advised.


4. Limit checking cell phone

“Limit time on social media, checking messages and making calls. This may imply that the other person in your company isn't interesting enough to hold your attention,” she said.


5. Watch your social media

While you limit your cell phone time, you may also want to either delete your social media accounts for the day or monitor them to ensure that those you want to keep a secret are not tagging you in photos thanking you for the gifts you sent. Instead of gratitude, you may have a violent meeting of women online.


6. Don't talk about an ex

Be careful not to reminisce or talk about an ex-wife or girlfriend. You don't want whoever you're with to think someone else is on your mind.


7. Don't call another name

Let's face facts. V-Day, for those who celebrate, almost always ends with a steamy or a plain vanilla romp in bed. Ensure that in the peak of passion you don't call someone else's name.


But remember, most of all this Wednesday:

Relax. No pressure. Try not to overdo it this Valentine's Day. Proper planning goes a long way. Handle your business and make the day and night a memorable one.




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