HE seems like the perfect guy and she is the girl most men can only dream of being with, but they couldn't be more different. But opposites attract, or do they?
Sex therapist Dr Sidney McGill shares a list of common indicators that you and your partner — despite how perfect you may both seem — might not only be incompatible, but that your relationship might not last.
Your money habits are fundamentally different
One of the most common reasons that relationships fail is because couples disagree on money matters. The fact is, when you become a couple you become a team, which means that the habits of one party can significantly affect the other.
For example, if one person has very strict saving habits while the other spends carelessly and excessively — especially when joint accounts are in play — this spells trouble.
You disagree on fundamental moral principles and values
It's a never-ending debate about what is right or wrong, morally. Your values are inextricably linked to your socialisation, and these inform all of your life's decisions. This is likely to cause conflict and this will drive a wedge in the relationship, making you unhappy.
You are both stubborn
If both parties in a relationship are stubborn, then chances are the relationship will be a toxic mess. When people are stubborn, they are likely to hold their ground, which means no matter what happens they will not want to admit that they are wrong nor will they apologise for inflicting pain on their partner.
You disagree on family planning
One party does not agree on marriage or where exactly he or she sees the future of the relationship, or the couple just doesn't see eye to eye on reproductive matters.
For example, one party might not want to have children while the other loves and wants to have several children. Once the couple cannot reach a compromise, these matters are likely to cause conflict to the point of dissolution of the relationship.
Neither of you is willing to compromise
A relationship can not only survive, but can work if both parties are willing to sacrifice their personal egos in order to make things work. Whether the subject of discontent is something as small as chores in the home, or something more challenging, such as a partner's alcoholism and refusal to get help, a couple who cannot meet halfway is likely to break up.
You constantly argue
Disagreeing from time to time is a normal part of every relationship. In fact, some relationship experts might tell you that some amount of arguing in relationships is healthy.
However, there is cause for concern when you argue about everything all the time, and you can never seem to come to a truce.
You have different levels of ambition
When you love and care for someone, you want to see them do well. If you are motivated by knowledge and actively seek out opportunities to learn new skills, but your partner is content with staying at the same place and shows little or no interest in growing, this can make relating to him or her very difficult — especially as you grow. It can actually breed resentment, especially if the complacent party feels like a leech in the relationship.
You share different perspectives on life
Sometimes life experiences and the way you were socialised can significantly alter your outlook. For some of us, we are positive and optimistic; we see the best in people and situations and anticipate positive outcomes. When your partner is pessimistic, this can drain the life from you and can also influence the course of tough decisions in relationships.
— Penda Honeyghan