News

The Other

Tony Robinson

Sunday, May 26, 2019

Print this page Email A Friend!


Let every eye negotiate for itself

And trust no agent,

For beauty is a witch

Against whose charm,

Faith melteth in blood.

— Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing II, 1

 

Wandering eyes negotiate for themselves, but be careful of outward beauty for its charm can be dangerous and provocative. And who can be more provocative than a mistress? There are some women who are destined to be mistresses, concubines, mateys, husband stealers, home wreckers, the other woman. The Other. What a life they live, never truly having a man of their own, but choosing, preferring, content to latch on to another woman's man and claim him as their own.

They are like barnacles on the hull of a ship, parasites that feed on the host of others, a nemesis in the lives of other women who they torment by their very presence. No wonder that quote said, trust no agent, for beauty is a witch whose charms melt faith. They also try the faith of so many women.

What a life these women live, as they go around encroaching on the lives of families, stealing, or rather borrowing, renting, leasing men that don't belong to them and who have no intention of leaving their wives for them. Leasing, with no option to buy.

They destroy homes, “mash up” families, overturn the apple cart of happiness. That's why they are called homewreckers as they often wield more destructive force than wrecking balls. They have no conscience, no integrity, no compassion for the aggrieved wife whose life they encroach on.

But are they all bad, is it their intention to create problems in other relationships, or are they simply victims? We'll see who “The Other” is, right after these rounded responses to 'Embracing obesity'.

 

Hi Tony,

According to the BMI (body mass index) which measures body weight in relation to height, there are three categories: normal, overweight, and obese. The dictionary defines overweight as exceeding in weight and obese as extremely fat. I have noticed that women who are obese tend to stand out more than men who are also obese. A friend of mine told me that since his wife became overweight and developed larger breasts and rear end, he finds her sexier. That's a plus side to being plus size.

Wade

 

Teerob,

Great Sunday Observer piece on obesity. I bet some will say that you are sexist for focusing so much on the female fat. Don't be deterred by the misguided. I'm glad you also highlighted the health risks associated with obesity.

Owen J

 

There was a time when being the other woman was shrouded in mystery, secrecy, shame. That was then. Back then, the other woman was looked down upon, vilified by society, scorned by wives, and even tarred and feathered when discovered. Even now in certain parts of the world they are put to death by stoning or beheading.

Well, for the most part that doesn't exist in the modern era, and in fact all morals have gone the way of the dinosaurs — gone forever, never to return. Not only is the other woman more prevalent, but they are now emboldened, barefaced, and flaunt their folly in the faces of the aggrieved wives. “I am your man's woman and you can't do a thing about it.”

Yes, they have been known to call the matrimonial home and trace off the wife, showing no respect at all. What temerity, what gall, what effrontery. As people would say, “She bright and outta order eh. Deh wid the woman man and don't even care.”

Let's face it though, the other woman does have her place, as she provides an outlet for men who have a need to fulfil and who desire some variety in their lives. The other woman satisfies these primal urges and needs.

Without a doubt they have been around since the dawn of time, but at least back in the day they displayed a modicum of mystery, a semblance of secrecy, a delusion of discretion, a culture of character. The other woman was squired away in another part of town, only known by the man she was seeing.

Nowadays they flaunt their lifestyle and shout it from the rooftops that they are “The Other”, and there's nothing that anybody can do about it. I have personally known mistresses who had no qualms or shame in befriending the wives of the men who they were sleeping with. Chatting and laughing with the woman even as they carry on right under her nose.

Some would even babysit the children or help to redecorate the house as they are shameless in their actions and have a gall and temerity that I have never seen before. Until now. Can you believe my surprise when I saw a programme on local TV recently that had a popular media personality boasting that she was the other woman for a popular deejay for over seven years?

She made no qualms about her role as “The Other”, and went into explicit detail what her role was and what was expected of her. She even said that she wasn't the only other woman for the man, but ranked at number two on his list. She was also friends with the 'wife'. Hey, some men in certain societies have multiple wives, so maybe that's how she saw herself.

The interview aired on the Saudicka Diaram Show, so you can check it out if you wish. You may be amazed at the candour and boldness of the other woman as she revelled in her role as the mistress.

But should we be surprised, and should we judge her for her actions? After all, as she pointed out, being “The Other” has its benefits, as she has time for herself and hasn't got to cook, clean or wash for the man. In essence she has no marital constraints.

She can come and go as she pleases, with one caveat, she cannot get involved with any other man. That is the main and absolute ground rule. “Thou shalt have no other man but me, for I am your one and only man and no other man must come before me.”

So, even though he is married, she is his concubine, and she's not allowed the freedom of choice to venture elsewhere. What an arrangement. But it suits some other women. Many “Other” women are satisfied to exist in this role, willing to settle as the nameless, faceless, mystery person living and slinking around in the shadows of relationships.

They are taken nowhere, cannot be seen in public with the man, for that is reserved for the wife who's Mrs. “The Other” woman is the mistress, not Mrs — note the distinction. Is she to blame, or is she merely fulfilling a fantasy of some men, filling a void that the wife has created, making way for the other woman to move in and give him what he lacks at home? Remember, nature abhors a vacuum.

As one “other” woman said, “Don't blame me. if his wife was satisfying him, he wouldn't be seeking someone like me.” But is that really true? Isn't it a fact that even though some wives try to provide all that they can, the men still go outside and find comfort in the other woman?

Maybe some men simply aren't satisfied to have one woman, maybe it defies the natural order of the universe. Maybe it goes against the laws of nature. And that's why “The Other” woman will always flourish, always find a home to nest in, a man to borrow, to snatch moments of merriment, until he goes back home to his wife.

Yes, the other woman has to be satisfied with only fleeting, furtive, frenzied moments of physical activity, until the man goes home. Maybe that's all she needs with no strings attached, preferring to rent and not buy.

“The Others” will never have a man of their own, but are destined to be always on the periphery of other people's lives, never a fiancée, never a bride, never a wife, never to wear a ring, but only, always, “The Other”.

For some it's a permanent state, always being the other woman, and then they get old and lose whatever attraction they may have had in the past. “The Other” grows old alone.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

 

Footnote: Water, water everywhere nor any drop to drink, goes The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. But those words aptly apply to our sad situation right now in our ironically named land of wood and water. What a sick joke, as we're in the same situation every year, with ridiculous regularity. Years of mismanagement have placed us in this sad state as the politicians and 'experts' have no clue, while the people suffer — some for months, years, without water.

There is no shortage of water in Jamaica. The Rio Cobre disburses over 40 million gallons per day, plus the Wag Water, Rio Minho, Rio Grande, Black River, Dunn's River always flow. Countless underground aquifers exist. What we have is a water management problem for decades which the bureaucrats are clueless to solve. I actually heard one say in the media that we do not need any more reservoirs. Now you know we're in deep trouble.


Now you can read the Jamaica Observer ePaper anytime, anywhere. The Jamaica Observer ePaper is available to you at home or at work, and is the same edition as the printed copy available at http://bit.ly/epaperlive


ADVERTISEMENT




POST A COMMENT

HOUSE RULES

1. We welcome reader comments on the top stories of the day. Some comments may be republished on the website or in the newspaper � email addresses will not be published.

2. Please understand that comments are moderated and it is not always possible to publish all that have been submitted. We will, however, try to publish comments that are representative of all received.

3. We ask that comments are civil and free of libellous or hateful material. Also please stick to the topic under discussion.

4. Please do not write in block capitals since this makes your comment hard to read.

5. Please don't use the comments to advertise. However, our advertising department can be more than accommodating if emailed: advertising@jamaicaobserver.com.

6. If readers wish to report offensive comments, suggest a correction or share a story then please email: community@jamaicaobserver.com.

7. Lastly, read our Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy



comments powered by Disqus
ADVERTISEMENT

Poll

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Today's Cartoon

Click image to view full size editorial cartoon
ADVERTISEMENT